I love movies a lot, animated or real life or a mixture of both. You know what I don’t love?
Nothing gives me more anxiety than when character royally screw up in the movies and end up making a huge mess that affects people off-screen. I was recently watching a collection of Disney shorts, and while watching Tangled Ever After, I was reminded why I enjoy the realistic nature of films outside of cartoons.
One: They lost the rings.
No, no, no, no, NO. That’s a terrible way to start things off. How the heck did you even accidentally sniff in a butterfly? That’s a strike.
Two: The What-If Scenario
What better way to give someone uncontrollably high blood pressure than by making them live through the worst thing that could possibly happen, just to reveal it hasn’t actually happened yet? That’s strike two. As Steve Harvey would say, you gotta be careful now.
Three: Pretending everything’s alright.
Nothing is alright, okay?! Maximus, you are digging a larger grave for yourself and Pascal, and fooling people into believing everything will be fine. Well… NO. NO. NO. Hasn’t your mother told you honesty is the best policy? That’s strike three!
Four: The problem splits into two problems.
Like one problem isn’t enough. The good part about this is that we get to see how Maximus and Pascal handle the situations differently. And they’re already out of strikes, so let’s see how this piles up.
Five: Pascal jumped into the soup
I love you Pascal, but you ruined the soup. You have no idea how long it took for the cook to make that! And you just jumped into it! That’s a waste of perfectly good soup right there.
Six: Imminent Dressing Montages
No, not the dresses!
Okay, the dresses were pink, so that’s fine. BUT STAY AWAY FROM THE SHOES.
Ahhhh, this can’t turn out good. Maximus is going to be one well-dressed horse.
A very well-dressed horse.
Oh well. At least the worst of it is over now. Time to get back to the wedding!
Seven: Still stuck in the same situations
That ice just can’t seem to get enough of you Pascal. It doesn’t want to let you go. Hey, at least the cold never bothers you anyway.
Eight: When things go flying
Okay, that ice is NOT supposed to be air-borne. This is getting out of control.
Nine: Lost to the multitude
Aww, Pascal, you just had to lose the ring on a floating light in the middle of thousands of floating lights. At this point, I don’t think I can handle anymore. My inner dictator wants a place for everything, and everything in its place.
Ten: Oh snap…
HOLY MOTHER OF SNAZZLE, LOOK AT ALL THAT WINE! This had to be what gave me the most stress out of everything in that movie. Just– just think of the PROPERTY DAMAGE! It’ll be months before all those houses washed up would get rid of that purple rug stain. *Gasp* WHAT IF THEIR RUGS ACTUALLY GOT STAINED?! No amount of Clorox Bleach would get rid of that. Plus think of all those vendors that got destroyed while Maximus and Pascal were trying to catch up to the rings. Those could’ve been those people’s whole livelihoods, the only way they could’ve fed their starving children at home!
This where I take in deep breaths and try to be as calm as possible, letting the vines of overreaching stress wilt away.
OH MY GOSH, IT’S GOING TO TAKE MILLIONS OF POUNDS TO FIX ALL THAT DAMAGE, THE ROYAL FAMILY’S GONNA BE SUED!