Sometimes, my mother can be very mean to me.
I’m talking about the time she was eating plantain chips after a hot day. In my house, the only person who got to eat Frito-lay brand chips was my little sister, when she decided that it was a good day to be a turd and scream in church until she got what she wanted. Evil little genius.
As I was saying, my mother was eating plantain chips, the next best thing. Naturally, I wanted some, so I asked if I could have some. She said I could, but right as I was about to rip into a bag, she stopped me. I should’ve taken it as a sign that something fishy was about to happen.
“Go take your bath first.”
I knew it!
There was no way it would’ve been that easy to get them. A price had to be paid.
“Make sure it’s cold. Today was hot.”
However, I dragged myself to shower. I normally would have no problem doing this, but cold water and I were in a bad relationship. I literally had to give myself at least 7 pep talks. And some of these happened too:
When I finally worked up the nerve, it was as bad as I feared it was.
The only thing that kept me going were the chips that awaited me at the end.
When the torture was over, I grabbed that bag of plantain chips and it turns out…
Plantain chips are a great way to blackmail me into a shower.