The Meaning of EGOT (Not Really)

So, you may be wondering what “EGOT” is. I know my brother was when I told him that Lin Miranda had it.

EGOT stands for

E- Extraterrestrial

G- Gestation

O- Of

T- Tentacles

It’s a rare and common disease, and striking those who happen to be at the edge of a crop circles or touching the fifth column of Stonehenge when the clock strikes 3:47 on a breezy day that happens to be Winter Solstice.  Scientists will try to tell you pranksters did it or even tell you that’s not what EGOT stands for.

But you and me, we know better. Lin’s hiding those tentacles somewhere and their growing longer everyday. It’s only a matter of time.

I’m imagining that you googled it. I bet you saw “Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony.”

Well, when others look at those trophies, they may see gold-plated manifestations of human achievements. But you and me see a winged alien woman, holding the earth in her hands like it weighs nothing, an ancient alien device used to communicate messages, a man of clear alien anatomy, and the face of alien invaders engraved in plain sight, warning everyone of what is to come.

And I’ll let you in on another secret. Celebrities really aren’t like you and me. Far from it. Their most important rule is this- First rule of tentacled alien infiltration into the human world: Don’t talk about tentacled alien infiltration into the human world.

But that’s just between you and me. Let’s let everyone else think EGOT is what they think EGOT is for now.


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