The Three Dollar Pizza Slice

There are a lot of things I’m willing to do to obtain the things I want.

I’d stream one song for hours on end, losing precious sleep, just to see my kpop boys succeed and achieve quote unquote “world domination”.

I’d actually go to website, find a recipe, and follow the recipe, to attempt to make half-decent donuts. (Didn’t work out but that’s besides the point, the Great British Baking Show inspired me).

I’d even walk in 102 degree weather to get a drivers license. (Curse online school).

Point is, I’m a crazy person.

But not crazy enough to fall for pizza that costs 3 dollars.

No, I don’t mean those cute 3$ mini pizzas you get for your picky third grader. I mean 3$…

…per slice.

Assuming all pizzas have 8 slices, that entire pizza would cost you a staggering 36$. If that’s not a scam, I don’t know what is.

Baby, there’s a lot you can buy with three dollars.
1. A half-decent burger from McDonalds.
2. 3 cans of Pringles if the cashier at the dollar store is nice enough to let you skip out on tax.
3. A giant bag of hot Doritos for your impromptu Christmas party.
4. 1/4 of a cheap kpop album.
5. The love and affection of someone much more broke than you.

But you know what’s also a scam? Speech and debate tournaments where they sell pizza slices for that much. If you haven’t already been sucked dry by competing in 3 events costing 30$ each, they fully expect you to waste the rest of your money on overpriced concession food.

Do yourself a favor: bring your own (far superior, better tasting, fresh from your fridge) food.

Or quit Speech and Debate like I did.

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